Being back and the everlasting wanderlust
It´s been a little over a month now since I am back in Germany. After spending some time with my family in Berlin and Trier I went to work in Mainz and stayed then in Aachen with Gülsah for about two weeks. I again went to work in Mainz for around a week or so, went then to Trier to do some gardening work and finally I am back in Aachen with Gülsah :-)
I have to say it still feels weird to be back – it´s kind of that feeling I have, that I am just here on holidays and that I´m going home soon. Funny enough it wouldn´t go away , at least it not until now.. If I think back, I know this feeling from before: when I came back from my 18month stay in South Africa in beginning of 2007 I felt quite bad – the people were strange, the weather was fucked and I missed my life. I knew I simply couldn´t go back to my old school in Germany and live my old life. Just too many things had happened. The only thought I had was the one of going back.. I was able to get some work at my step dad´s company for a couple of weeks and shortly after payday I flew to morocco to spend the next five weeks there, as I couldn´t afford to fly into the southern part of Africa again.
This time I am moreless doing the same - just working and saving money. Gülsah and I have to go somewhere and I cannot wait to be honest. I know kind of which direction I want my life to take and the thing is there´s just not a big part of it here in Germany.. Sure, I have some friends here and there, but almost none of them shares my ocean & diving passion, nobody is really interested in the oceans, fish, photography etc.. I have to say, I was very disappointed, that almost exclusively everyone I asked hadn´t seen my videos, hadn´t read my blog and hadn´t seen my photos. I mean this IS actually my life, the things that define me – the things I love most! I din´t get any feedback, no questions.. I am sometimes feeling alone and I don´t know, if it has always been like this or if I am just seeing things differently now. I am very happy to have my girlfriend and I love her to bits. Even though it´s quite tough sometimes to make "us"and my traveling go hand-in-hand. I wouldn´t be the same though, if I wasn´t doing what I am doing. And an unhappy person cannot be „made“ happy, it has to come from within only then he can spread happiness and love. I think the two of us have grown a lot during our relationship and we´ve had situations other couples might not have in ten years. Since she´s living in Aachen now to do her ecotoxicology master and I am most probably going to move to Bremen in the north-west of Germany to start my tropical marine ecology master (if they´ll accept me), we´ve got some distance-times ahead of us once again. But it doesn´t matter to me: there´s none who can understand me like she does and she always backs me up wherever I need her.. We´ll manage anything.. Both of us simply love animals to the max, love diving and our oceans, are biologists, love photography, love travelling, need the sun and are full of ideas.
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Besides working, I am researching and reading about marine environment topics, dreaming and making plans I (or we) are out taking pictures. Cemetrys are great places in cities for photographing wildlife. Some green islands within the grey concrete jungle. If all goes well, I might soon be holding my new camera, a Nikon D7100 and I cannot wait. Our photo expeditions will be way better, as Gülsah can have my D90 and both of us can click till our thumbs hurt. Summer will come and the sun will spread some positive thoughts and laughs around people and the world immediately looks a bit better and brighter. In the end, I cannot complain at all, as I have more than I need to live. As long as we are breathing, healthy and loved there´s nothing more we could wish for and nothing to worry about.
So have a good one all of you and make the best out of your time here on earth :)